Life Love and Lessons

Recently my friend Patrice asked me to be a guest blogger on her single life blog.

 If you get time you must go be inspired by this beautiful, encouraging soul. 

 Her lovely blog. Puerliltyvol1

Meet the beautiful Patrice.

Challenge was accepted.

I'm reposting the the blog I wrote for her because if you're scrolling through my blog it might just inspire you.  Our struggles, our stories can be used for good if it brings light and love to others.

I started dating late in life. I joke I had the understanding of a 16 year old but a body of a 25 year old. Needless to say I learned a hard lesson on how nothing good happens after midnight. I got wrapped in a relationship without commitment and once a soul tie was made, I lost “me” along the way. It's been a long journey that I'm still walking out but who I am today is more gracious, loving and fearless because I've allowed myself the grace to accept all the good, the bad and ugly.

My Nugguts

Know you, Be you and Love you.

You have to know who you are before you can know who you are in a relationship. You have to be you in all your quirkiness and give them the permission to love you just as you are. You have to truly love yourself with all your junk knowing you are a beautiful work in progress. 

Being authentic with yourself gives you a healthy ability to grow and just BE in a relationship.

If you like doors to be opened don't apologize for it, just give them grace to learn but stand your ground. If hanging with your bros is important then stay true to that while respecting the time and needs of your girl. I am a true believer in making what's important to them important to you but make sure you don't lose “you” along the way.

Having self-respect is one of the greatest gifts you can give your partner and most importantly yourself.  It starts with loving your beautiful, messy, honest, (sometimes) crazy, adorable, loveable self.

Shame is a prison but you have the keys.

If you have gone places in the past that has brought you shame, Let It Go! Shame is an awful thing that paralysis you from your potential.

It makes you seem small when really you are strong, able, vivacious and free.

Shame defines you as “less than”, Grace defines you with respect, honor, and worth.

What you do might shape you but it doesn't define you. Don't allow shame to steal a minute, a day, a year of your life. Acceptance of what was and the ability to set it free will give you grace to lift up your head in dignity and receive the love that is for you. No good comes from shame.

What is for you will not pass you by.

I have been trapped by fear that “IT” may never come unless I work at “it” and make “it” happen. If I pray a little harder, dream a little bigger, focus more intently it will suddenly manifest. But as cliché as it sounds when you least expect it, that is when it happens.

Shifting your attention off the thing is not only healthy but helpful. I think when we want something so bad we send out this needy energy that can come across as “too much” and unattractive. You might not say I'm desperate with your words but it's oozing from your very being.

The best way to combat “desperato-ville” is to take your energy off “when will it come” and put it on “who you will be when it does”.

I truly believe that the right (un-perfect) but perfect for you person will come and the best is to rest in that fact. Find new hobbies, live full adventures, make memories with the best human beings you've surrounded yourself with and when your person comes they will be a beautiful addition to a full life that already exist.

Shake off what was and set your soul free. Lift up your eyes and hold on to hope. It will happen.

Don't sweat it, control it, fear it or force it. Rest in the fact it WILL come to pass and be okay that there is nothing you can do about it.

Some people learn from other's pain, some people have to experience it themselves. The mama bear in me would want to spare everyone from hurting, from the tears, from the scars but wherever you are know...

You are enough. You're growing, learning, being and trusting. You are in the right place. 

So much love with absolutely no pain.

xo, 

Kjoy

Beach Babe Waves

Most asked question concerning my hair is how i get it to look like beach hair. With multiple trial and errors I finally found what works for me besides being at the beach, ALL. DAY. LONG. 

I made a kind of long informative, quirky, video on how I curl my hair and I also took photos for a step-by-step visual. I'm posting both to this blog for the fellow ADDer and the more detailed learner. You are both welcome. 

BEACH CURL WAVES STEP BY STEP

Wash your mop. Towel Dry. 

Then bust out with some good products. I have a real thing for Kevin Murphy Products. 

At the root of my hair I put the body builder mousse, massage it into scalp.

Spritz the anti-gravity spray all over hair for texture.

The next step is one of the most important things I tell people to get that surfer girl hair.

AIR DRY YOUR MOP!

• When you blow dry your hair you form your hair follicles in a certain direction which i think prevents the hair from curling to its potential.
• When you have the heat of the blowdryer and add the heat of the curling iron to your hair, it can over time damage hair.
• If you have blonde hair and add all that heat its setting it up for even more damage.
• And lastly, who has time for all that mess when you're trying to catch a solid wave :)

Convinced yet?

Just say "NO" to all that heat. Save it for when you hit the beach and surf the waves.

One of the tips is my tool, I use a Conair Sprial Styler Curling Iron. You can purchase it HERE. 

I found this nugget when I was in Sonoma hanging with my some of my best friends Gia and Domenica. I walked into CVS and discovered this life changer. It takes time to get use to but its well worth it.

Heat up iron and split your hair down the middle. Clip up half of your hair and split remainder hair down the middle into two sections to begin the curling journey.

let the curling begin...

Grab about an inch of hair clip iron on smoothing to end of hair leaving about 1-2 inches of hair out and begin to roll up.

Curling away from your face parallel to profile.

Hold for a good 5+ sec and pull downward. Continue to the back split. 

and now to the other side.

Repeat same steps as above. 

Remember you are curling away from face so you should be going in a different direction than the other side.

You are almost to the beach wave finish line. Yay you! 

Let down the rest of your hair and split is down the middle.

Working from the back to front begin the curling process again.

Curls should be random, unorganized and messy. If you're OCD, well you might have some issues with this. I suggest seeing a counselor or shoot me an email and I'll send back some encouraging words. I'm a life cheerleader. :) 

As you can see there are some kinks in my hair because when you use this specific curling iron and you curl going against spiral it sometimes happens. No worries my friend... 

Take kinked up section and re-curl on the no spiral part of iron hold for a few seconds and it should do the trick. If you have a wand curling iron you could also touch up with it.

Repeat steps on other side, not necessarily the faces and darlin' you are done. 

Flip hair and shake out curls for volume. I do this on the regular.

This hair is awesome because it can accomplish three looks.

The surfer: Just add flip flops (rainbows preferably) 

The cheeky: Just add attitude

The gyspy: Just add a headband

So to make this blog have just a little more depth here's a little thought. 

Life is kind of like this hair its not perfect its kind of messy. Like the waves in the ocean you can't control what happens; it can be the ride of your life or another wipe out.  Its all about your attitude. Get back up, take the waves as big and small as they might come and let life flow. 

Don't try to hold so tight in life where you're not living. 

In the words of a surfer...

Hang Loose.

xo,

kjoy

spring is in the air.

“if we had no winter the spring would not be so pleasant.”

— anne bradstreet

When you have experienced a long random fickle winter...you begin rejoicing at the thought of spring. Well you are in luck because spring is officially here. Today is the first day and to help you celebrate better weather, beautiful days, newness of life and Jesus' resurrection check out my latest Spring Party Segment on Great Day Houston.

If the video isn't working click on link below. 

Party Hardy Spring Time is Here

Let the partying begin. 

“Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!”

— robin williams

I'm not only celebrating another year of living but a new season of green grass, blue sky and breezes that take me to other worlds. 

Enjoy the freshness of what a new season brings, don't waste a moment every one is worth celebrating. 

So much love.

-kjoy

“winter will surely give way to the warmth and hope of a new spring.”

— dieter f. uchtdorf