The holidays bring up so many emotions to so many people. For me there's past loves, births, regrets, dreams and that deep down desire that THIS will be the last Christmas alone, and things I had inspired to do in my “it's happening 2013” January campaign will manifest themselves with bells and whistles. Seeing its mid-December I began reflecting on my last 11 months/ life and well it has not perfectly manifested as I had imagined. I literally was on the verge and I mean verge of responding in my heart with some sarcastic remark when a Proverb jumped to the front of the line of my heart.
"hope deferred makes the heart sick"
I stop there with a huge sigh "does it ever!!!"
I mean how many of us can testify that the weight of disappointment is extreme when our expectations are not met? When we think it should go down or be done on our time frame and calendar? Becoming frustrated and exhausted wondering if the thing we hope for will ever come into manifestation? Waiting longer? Is this real life? Yeah, I'm raising my hand real high right now… Actually two hands with tons of high fives going on.
Am I right or am I right?!
It kind of breaks down like this: we hope for things and the timing doesn't meet our expectations and we bum out with sarcasm, indifference & fear. We quickly react by falsifying our hope as just a figment of our imagination, rejecting it, installing a 50 ft wall around our heart to not let that hope in and be disappointed again. This isn't necessarily an outward reaction but an intense battle going on in your mind, to yourself, toward your dreams. Oh to the world you can robot the response of “Dear Brother I totally got my stuff together and bless the dear Lord, I’m still believing.” I'm not talking to those moments; I'm talking to the darker ones, alone at the breaking of the dawn or the darkest of nights. It’s just you and your hope. This is where we need to hold on and gain our ground with perspective.
You see when true hope is implanted in your heart, its not wishful thinking. Its literally something that you have confidently seen in your heart as truth. You've imagined it, water it, and let it bloom. Now the storms of life are going to come but just like a flower in a garden, a petal may fall but their roots run deep and in the right time it will be a flourishing garden of flowers. The same goes with our hope, if it's real, you've seen it, its a truth in your heart then the storms of life cannot destroy it, only you can by pulling it up and neglecting it.
The TRUTH is we don't see the whole picture and to react with such severe negativity brings dysfunction and distorts our ability to hope that our dreams will ever come to fruition. This isn't the time to cast away your hope but to trust beyond the borders of your uncertainty.
We live in the age of the “now”...I want it now, I need it now, I expect it now. Society and life have conditioned us to compare ourselves one to another and to have what others have now via social media or instant gratification; instead of enjoying the journey which is constant. We tend to focus on the destination and in truth this should always be changing once you've reached the last one. Look to the future but don't live there. My free spirit personality is literally at war with that self-discipline and awareness. You see if things happen exactly in the now, things won't have time to mature, build character or develop to their quality state. Take for instance burgers made of disgusting materials, clothes that fall apart, or worse yet divorce that is running rampant in our culture. Quality takes time, Character is developed, and Maturity is grown in understanding through life experience.
So here's what I'm thinking...let's start by taking our eyes off our timing and our expectations of how and when the things hoped for will manifest. Trust it will manifest beyond what you can see in the now, confidently knowing that this hope will come not on our time table but on the destined one. You can't make certain things happen with a click of a button or a snap of your finger. If we remove those expectations and those self-imposed time frames, we will find ourselves with joy in the present and peace with the outcome.
And here's the real kicker, it happens when we finish out the passage in Proverb
“but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.”
Did you see that BUT (used to introduce something contrasting with what has already been mentioned)
That's kind of a big deal. Highlight underline circle the BUT... its pretty much saying yeah I know its a real bummer it's taking so long BUT honey when it comes it's gonna be so good. It’s encouraging you to know the end thing will come if you hold fast your confession of hope. Shifting our expectations and our end result by fixing our eyes on that BUT, with the end promise of a tree of life, will change our being; it will remove anxiety about the timing.
Don't be so quick to give up your hope, fight the urge and enjoy the beautiful gifts along the journey while you wait with patience for the dream to be fulfilled. The dream will come and with it a beautiful life.
With love and yes "It's still happening 2013"!
Kjoy
(Insert my disclaimer. The more vulnerable and real you are with others the more expressive and honest you are with yourself. When I share my heart it’s not for pity or to weaken myself; it’s being honest. Some people might hate disclaimers and be turn off by real confessions of a 30 year old woman, but I'm not threaten or insecure by others opinions. You see I'm so much more comfortable in my 30's than I was in my 20's. I am quirky, bold and me. Ok disclaimer done. :)